There is nothing in the world that can prepare you for sudden loss.
I believe grief, rejection, and loss, are three of the most difficult things to overcome in this life, but IT IS possible!
As we grow into adulthood, and face new losses and rejection; I believe it’s harder to heal if you haven’t already processed the grief and healed from past hurt and losses.
Grief is a process, it is not taken in stages, only time.
Since childhood, I have had to deal with both rejection and loss. I am so grateful God called me at the young age of 25 to have a changed and renewed life. He used all of the right people, at all the right times throughout my childhood and young adult life to set the stage for the day I committed, and surrender my life over to Jesus. He saved me from a life of continuous rebellion and selfishness.
Although, I never considered myself a selfish person, because I have always tried to put others first. But, by always saying, “yes” to people, it set me up for a lot of failed relationships and mistreatment. I eventually learned to say, “no”, well, sometimes!
I mentioned in a previous post that God had used my grandmother to plant the seed of prayer in my life; and in doing so it helped me in times of heartache and suffering throughout my life, even before I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior.
I believe that through it all, God was preparing me for the day I would lose not only my best friend, but the love of my life. I have always said that God knew my kids would be fatherless. You can read a little about our loss in my previous post,
When He Leaves Without Saying Goodbye, by clicking the link below!
I needed to change, grow closer to and cling to Him.
This way I would be able to withstand the trials of this life and the hardships my children and I would later face. I know there are still trials that we will have to face as we continue to walk this journey together.
But, God has developed strength, joy, peace and a deep love within us throughout the years. I am now living with His joy and peace, as well as, learning to trust Him through all the chaos, and in the “not knowing” what is around the bend.
Do I doubt? Yes! Do I question? Yes! Do I need to believe and trust Him fully?
YES, oh YES!
I have not mastered this, nor do I know if I ever will. But, I do know I have learned so much about love and sacrifice, forgiveness and healing as I walk with my Warrior King!
He is fighting for me, and most importantly with me!
And I know He is fighting for you! He has a great purpose and plan for me, and for you.
What is it that you are struggling with? Is it doubt? Is it trust? Is it belief?
Oh, dear sweet one, I want nothing more for us to have unwavering and complete trust and belief in our One True God! Let us both be praying for this for the both of us.
No, I have not found love again. At one point, over a year ago, I thought God had finally sent the one who would help heal and restore the broken love I once knew; not to mention our broken family. This of course was not God’s plan or will for me or my children and this new found relationship.
After about ten months… he walked away. Talk about a shattered heart, I thought I would never have to experience this heartache again! But, as a couple of close friends had told me, God is restoring our family, He has been and has always been “The One”.
I have been looking at my situation from my point of view instead of from the eyes of the One who truly loves and knows me. He has ordained our lives before we were even thought of and even long before this sin-stained world existed!
Now, the “love” thing. I am asking God to help me open my heart to Him. The One who can love me the way I am supposed to be loved. I believe this is what is needed before another man can come in and share me with Jesus. And of course, if God wills for me to be with someone again.
I am learning to accept that His plans for me may not be what I expect them to be.
Even when I can’t see, I am leaning on Him, and His will for my life. Especially, when it is hard to accept it and simply let go.
Ugh! This crazy, hot mess of a girl has a long journey ahead of her; but she knows she’s not where she once used to be! For that I am grateful!
And as my children grow and move on to college, and hopefully one day, to marriage and families of their own, I live on one truth alone….
God’s NOT dead!
He is alive and active and He never leaves us nor forsakes us.
He is my Hope (Psalm 31:24), my Strength (Isaiah 41:10, Isaiah 30:29-31), my Love (Romans 8:38-39, 1John 4:9), my Defender (Exodus 14:14), and my constant Shield (Psalm 33:20, Psalm 119:14).
If you had asked me eleven years ago, if I had thought I would ever get through losing my fiancé, I would have said “NO!”. But, as I stand here today, and truly with all honestly, say I never thought it would be possible.
But it has been possible, “FOR WITH GOD ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE!”
He is the Only one who has brought me through the crushing pain, the searing loss, and the sleepless nights; and He continues to get me through every giant and obstacle I face in this life.
Do I hope to find love again one day? Yes!
There’s a part of me which longs for a relationship. Although, I often wonder why I still long for a relationship after all the heartbreaks I’ve had to endure. But, there is a longing I can’t seem to shake.
As I get up and dust the dirt off of my jeans, I continue to walk with honor and in God’s truth; not in my own perception of reality, despite the circumstances, or how hard it is to not want some of the things of this world.
I cannot do this in my own strength, but only in the strength that Christ gives to me.
My story isn’t finished yet, and neither is yours! I now choose to lay my pencil down and let the One who has designed my life, pick it up to finish writing my story He had laid out before time began!
“And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.”
Romans 8:28 NKJV
How do you cope with loss and grief?
I am curious to know your thoughts and any questions you may be wrestling with. I am also interested in knowing the ways you cope with loss and grief. Leave me a comment or any questions that may be spinning around in that beautiful head of yours. I will do my best to answer and encourage you in any way the Holy Spirit leads me to!
May God bless and keep you close! Know that I am praying for you, dear sweet one!
Original Date July 7, 2019
Revised Date October 10, 2020
**Edited by Tara C, BJ, & Myself